6 Easy Steps to Catch them Red Handed!
|Infidelity is becoming more commonplace|
Are you suspicious that your partner is cheating but you have no real evidence? Don’t discount your gut feelings and feel guilty for suspecting your partner. Research shows that 60% of all married individuals in the United States will engage in infidelity at some point in their marriage (figures are even higher for unmarried couples).
Infidelity can have very damaging long term consequences:
- Irreparable lost of trust in the relationship
- The affair could result in a pregnancy
- The affair can damage your reputation with your family, friends or colleagues
- Your partner may spend significant amounts of time and money with their lover, neglecting their responsibilities at home
- You can be exposed to a STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease)
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report that in 2011 there was an 8% increase in instances of Chlamydia and a 4% increase in Gonorrhea. In 2008, approximately 500,000 persons in the United States were living with HIV/Aids and the most prevalent STD, HPV (Human Papillomavirus) is estimated to infect 26.8% of persons aged 14 – 59 at any given time. HPV is a leading precursor condition of many types of cancers.
Your partner’s affair could cost you your life.
|HPV is one of the most common STDs|
So how can you be sure? Here are a few ways:
1) They Act Guilty
|Their guilt will not last long!|
- Lack of eye contact
- Suddenly starts to pay you more attention
- Suddenly starts to buy you a lot of gifts or is extra nice
- Seems uncomfortable when you do something nice for them
Everyone knows that affairs are wrong, and although they might enjoy it initially they will feel guilty. If your partner can’t look you in the eye after coming home from “work” late then this is a bad sign. Guilt may also make you partner pay you more attention when you are together, or buy you gifts for no clear reason. In these cases they are trying to internally make amends and somehow justify their behavior. When you do something nice for them, they briefly reconsider why they are engaging in the affair and it shows, however these guilty feelings will decrease over time.
2) Your Sex Life Changes
|Your partner’s interest in sex might wane.|
- Lack of physical contact
- Long periods without sex become the norm
- Seems distracted or bored during sex
- Suddenly want to have sex frequently
- Suddenly wants to try new positions or techniques
- Suddenly prefers to have sex in the dark or from behind
At the end of the day affairs are about sex. It’s exciting, it’s different and it’s wrong. If your partner stops hugging you, kissing you, randomly slapping/grabbing your bum etc then they may be having an affair. They may have lost the urge to connect with you because they are connecting with someone else. Decreasing frequency of physical intimacy and sex and long dry spells are also another clear indicator. When you do have sex they may feel guilty or may just be bored because it isn’t as exciting, these are all worrying signals.
Alternatively, having an affair may sexually empower some people. They may want to have even more sex because they remember just how pleasurable sex can be, or they may want to try new positions and techniques which they learned from their illicit partner.
Finally if your lover suddenly prefers to have sex from behind or in the dark then they may be fascinating about their lover while having sex with you. Insist that the lights are on and make eye contact with them during sex and see how they respond.
3) They suddenly need privacy
|Suddenly their privacy becomes very important!|
- Starts to lock their cell phone or computer with a password
- Logs are constantly cleared (phone calls and text message, email in-box, browsing history, facebook messages etc)
- Leaves the room to have phone conversations
- Is never naked or shirtless around you
- You stop seeing bank statements or cell phone bills coming to the house
If your partner is having an affair initially they will try to hide it from you. Suspicious use of cell phones and computers is a clear sign. If your partner used to leave their Facebook account logged in but now suddenly they have passwords for everything then this is a bad sign. So is constantly clearing phone and message logs. Of course leaving the room to go outside to talk to “mom” and deliberately not taking calls from “strange” numbers are also bad signs.
Your partner may be having rough sex with their lover, so any bruises or marks on their skin may be visible, hence the reluctance bear it all! Finally, if your stop seeing regular bank statements, credit card statements or cellular phone bills then your partner may be trying to hide the affair!
4) Their behavior changes
|Your partner may frequently have to “Work Late”|
- They suddenly become very interested in their appearance
- They start to listen to unfamiliar music
- They voice new, unfamiliar opinions
- Suddenly often have to work late, work overtime or travel frequently on business
- Suddenly spending a lot of time with old friends or work colleagues
If your partner is having an affair they need to maintain it and set aside time to be with their lover. A newfound interest in looking good can stem from a desire to look appealing to their new lover. If your partner suddenly starts to exercise frequently, buys new clothes and seeks to be constantly well groomed then watch out! They may also be exposed to new jokes or popular catch phrases, new types of music and different kinds of food. Even their political opinions can be influenced.
Every affair needs a significant amount of time. If your partner seems to be working a lot of overtime, traveling often or regularly hanging out with “friends” without you then read between the lines. They will make almost any excuse to get time for the affair.
5) They treat you badly
|You and your partner argue all the time|
- Frequently picks fights
- Talks about the end of the relationship
- Sometimes seems very moody and withdrawn
- Never talks to you about anything!
- You are always the 1st one to initiate contact
- Suddenly criticizes things about you things they used to find appealing
- Accuses you of cheating
- Suddenly becomes very interested in your whereabouts
As mentioned before all affairs need time. Any excuse to leave, including storming off after an argument can be an opening to engage in the affair. The added benefit is that if you call they can easily say they refused to answer because they were “upset from the argument”! Talking about the end of the relationship is another dead giveaway. Questions like “What would you do if we ever broke up?” or statements like “If we broke up then I would always love you as a friend.” are clear indicators. Of course being moody and withdrawn fits perfectly with this behavior. They may just not want to be around you.
People often mistakenly think that any communication is good in a relationship. This is not true. A lack of meaningful communication by both parties is a dead giveaway. If you have to initiate contact with you partner every time you communicate then something is wrong. This includes when you are together at home. If your partner never or seldom engages you in conversation or only talks about the essentials like financial matters or day to day family issues this is just as bad. He or she may have found someone else to share their hopes and dreams with. Sudden sharp criticism of you about things they initially liked is another bad indicator. It could mean that they are trying to justify the affair in their minds or even gradually end the relationship.
When someone is having an affair they may become paranoid that they are being cheated on as well. Your partner may accuse you of cheating or they may become very interested in where your whereabouts. This can also be because they want to limit the possibility that you might run into them when they are with their lover.
6) Dead Giveaways
|Catch them Red Handed!|
- Lipstick, marks or unexplained damage to their clothes
- Unexplained bruises or damage to their skin
- More than one cell phone or SIM card (That they never told you about)
- New email accounts (That you never heard about)
- Phone is always on vibrate/silent
- Lingering smell of perfume, cologne or strange body odor
- Mentions a particular name in their sleep or during sex more than once
- Has to think before answering simple questions
- Unusually high mileage on their car
- Never answers the phone when you call
- Disappears for long periods of time
- Comes home smelling like alcohol or drugs
- Stops saying: “I love you”
There are many instances when we may choose to ignore an affair or pretend that it doesn’t exist. Of course this is a lot easier if the signs are not so obvious. I know you may be thinking that some of these are obvious so I won’t go through them all.
Unless you husband is regularly mugged by lipstick wielding bandits, or your wife by button or skirt ripping thugs, unexplained damages or marks is a clear sign of infidelity. This goes hand in hand with unexplained bruises on their skin.
Secret cell phones, SIM cards and email accounts are ways to keep in contact with their lovers. Be wary of cell phones that always remain in your partner’s bag or vehicle and of course having their phone constantly on vibrate/silent is to avoid having to answer certain calls. Of course if you don’t hear the phone ring all the better.
You nose is a lot more sensitive than you think. Overtime we become used to our partners body odor and perfumes or colognes. Any change in their smell can be suspicious.
Who would mention another name during sex? While we are experiencing a strong orgasm or in a deep sleep our conscious minds may temporarily loose control and that’s when what we are really thinking about comes out.
“Where were you?” Followed by a long pause is a very bad sign. If there is nothing to hide then there should be no need to think about the answer.
Sex, drugs and alcohol usually go together. If your partner suddenly starts coming home smelling like alcohol every Tuesday then the writing may be on the wall.
“I love you.” These are three simple but powerful words. If your partner never says these words to you (unsolicited), or shows any affection, consideration or concern then it may be too late to save your relationship.
So how do you know if your partner is cheating? Be aware of changes and look for signs. Enough circumstantial evidence taken together cannot be a coincidence, as the old saying goes “Where there is smoke there is fire!”
|Monitor their cell phone to confirm your suspicions|
Everyone remembers the feeling that we got when we had our first heart break. It feels like if someone died; a low sinking feeling deep inside your chest. The only silver lining is that the next time it didn’t hurt so badly! This doesn’t have to happen to you! Read the signs and take concrete action! This will sound corny, but your life may depend on it! Of course if you need more than just circumstantial evidence then check out our free spy-ware downloads, reverse number lookup services and extensive spy-ware reviews. There is nothing more damning than hard evidence!
If you want more information check out this Huffington Post video on Why women cheat.
You can also watch the video below.